i’m scared of little kids because i was driving down my road and these kids were standing in the road and i asked them to move and the one kid looked at me and said “no. hit us” and i could tell he had nothing left to lose
this lion really got eyelashes
this lion is prettier than i am
9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that
the hell kind of classes are you taking?
I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”
it is actually really sweet when someone stays up late to talk to you
What if they fall asleep by accident though?
then you love it even more because they stayed up even though they were dead tired just to talk to you ya doof
maybe the little bruises and cuts that show up on your body seemingly out of nowhere are actually little injuries that happened to your soulmate and you get the same marks on your skin as them
write a book
do a movie